Tuesday, September 14, 2010

A chocolately, cloudy miracle

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We're all adults here, so I think we can talk openly about our desires and needs.

I'm talking about chocolate, people. 

Is there anything better than chocolate? I cook, clean, work, and do my best to fulfill my obligations as a wife to Tim. So it only makes sense that God would give us women this one small thing. I mean, He is the giver of all good things (1 Timothy 6:17). 

He's also the giver of little brothers.


Everyone, meet Jack.

Okay, fine. He doesn't look like that anymore. But that's how I'll always think of him.

Now, as tempting as it is, I'm not going to go too into detail about the life and person of Jack Douglas Doney just yet. See, Jack has committed to taking over my first session of tomorrow's "Men in the Kitchen," a tutorial of sorts that teaches men how to cook basic meals...

...you know, in case all their wives, mothers and sisters suddenly disappear. 

Or decide to go to Mall of America. 

Tomorrow is Jack's birthday, and my mother instructed me to buy a birthday cake  for him since he'll be in town.

Pssh. The nerve. Does she know who she's talking to?

So, I rebelled and went to WalMart instead, where I loaded up on the four ingredients I'd need to make this classic icebox cake: 2-3 packages of Famous Chocolate Wafers (which I did not use, because a) I'm rebellious, b) I thrive off of testing the limits, and c) they didn't have them in stock. So I ended up buying 3 packages of those big chocolate covered graham crackers. s. Just pick your poison), 3 cups of heavy whipping cream, 1 tablespoon of vanilla, and 1 cup of powdered sugar. 


Seriously, that's it. Now, I should add, this is a very popular recipe, but I have tweeked it. Most recipes will say to put in 3 tablespoons, including Oprah's.

But Oprah doesn't think Jesus is the only way to heaven. Clearly she's not to be trusted when it comes to baking.

So, here we go! I know it's not a traditional birthday cake...

...but Jack's not a traditional guy.


This, as most of you know, is my lovely husband, Tim. I tried to include him in the baking festivities, but he insisted on getting two cookies before we started.

So I conceded and gave him two cookies. And we began.

Combine the whipping cream, vanilla extract and powdered sugar.

**This mixer is approved by Tim**

It's going to take a while for it to thicken, and you need some sort of mixer. I cannot imagine doing this by hand. It would probably take an hour.

Or two.

Or three.

Just keep stirring...

You'll probably have time to get a haircut...

....and shave your legs...

...and write a poem...

"There once was a man named Tim.
He thought no one could mix better than him.
He shaved off his hair,
and didn't use Nair,
and his eyes are as blue as the sea."

...and realize you are not talented in that realm...

...and then comes the good part. The chocolate covered graham crackers (of for some of you, the chocolate waffers).

Just like this picture, make a circle of seven cookies with one right in the middle.

Coat it with our delicious homemade whipped topping and continue until you run out of cookies.

Or until your husband eats it all behind your back. You'll turn around, get angry, and melt quickly when he says, "But Goose, I just wanted to know what a cloud tastes like."

Okay, he didn't say that. But how cute would that have been?

**This dessert has been approved by Tim**

Hopefully it looks something like this...maybe even better.

I wish I had a better camera.

But here's my rationalization: My goal in taking these pictures and sharing these recipes is not to make you feel better.

I want you to know you can make this stuff.

Back to my mediocre pictures.

I took my last cookie, destroyed it with all my pent-up frustration and energy, and placed on the very top.

Throw it in the fridge for at least four hours, and it's ready to go!

Wish me luck-Jack doesn't come until tomorrow night.

Happy Tuesday!

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