Buffalo Chicken Rolls

As I sit here writing, my son is yelling at me. And by yelling I mean whining. And by whining I mean squeaking. He is teething. His body is growing. And he has some potty issues {I'll leave out the details}. These are dark days, indeed.

It's funny the stuff you'll justify when enduring hell on earth these adorable milestones. The other night after an especially long day, I decided these buffalo chicken rolls would be dinner. Tim knew better than to ask questions. Mamma wanted her buffalo fix. And because they're baked, I hereby dub them healthy. Because I make the rules, and I pay the bills. Well, technically, Tim makes the money, but I do the actual bill-paying.

Potato, tomato.


Ingredients:

• 2 chicken breasts
• Frank's Red Hot Sauce
• 1/4 cup Ranch dressing {plus extra for dipping}
• 2 packs egg roll wraps {but it only takes about 1 1/2 packs}
• Feta cheese
• Mozzarella {or Italian} cheese

Pre-heat your oven to 400° F. Shred the chicken (I cooked it in the crock pot on low for 6-8 hours), adding extra Frank's hot sauce to taste.

Mix-in the ranch dressing.

Here's a picture of the egg roll wraps you'll use. I couldn't find them, even when the kind Walmart employee told me they were on the "wet wall." Umm...okay. Twenty minutes later I return just to ask her to walk me to them. #jobsecurity

Lay out the egg roll wrap.

Place about a tablespoon-full of shredded chicken on the wrap. As we start, it's important to emphasize that you should not over-stuff them.

Toss on the Italian cheese {or whatever cheese you chose}.

Then the feta.

Fold the bottom corner over the filling.

Fold over the left corner tightly.

Then the next corner and roll towards the remaining corner.

Dip your {clean} finger in water and press on the last corner. 

Fold it over. The water will make it stick.

Place them on a non-stick baking sheet. Bake for 12-15 minutes or until they are golden brown and crispy.

Wam-bam-thank-you-ma'am. The picture above is how they look when flipped over.

Serve warm with ranch dipping sauce. If you want to get crazy, splash some of Frank's hot sauce into the ranch and mix it to get a spicy ranch.

Now go take these to a quiet location and enjoy. And think of me. And the chaos I'm currently living in.

Love and buffalo,

Bacon-Wrapped Smokies

I'm sure you've seen these all over Pinterest. And there's a reason they're being pinned like crazy. These things are G-O-O-D. I made them for a housewarming party, and while I was a bit nervous about trying them (I go through phases where I shun meat), I went for it. Divine.

Normally I'd write some big story about how these remind me of some life-changing childhood event, but my husband just got home from a week-long business trip, and I'm baking cookies.

I hope you enjoy these! It's a variation of a few different recipes I found on Pinterest.

Ingredients:

1 pound Li'l Smokies

1 large container bacon. I used a big box of the microwave-ready bacon because it’s a little thinner.

⅓ cups brown sugar

¼ cups maple syrup (please buy the real stuff. It’s a little more expensive, but it lasts forever)

1 tbsp dijon mustard

Pinch of cayenne pepper

Directions:

Open up and drain the package of smokies. We don't want any of that nasty smoky juice up in here.

The real pain-staking step is wrapping each smoky with bacon (uncooked).

I used three smokies per piece of bacon because they're so thin.

Next, you're going to mix the brown sugar, maple syrup, dijon mustard and cayenne pepper.
Pour over the smokies. Bake at 375 degrees for about 30 minutes.

I didn't get the end-result picture because we had housewarming guests pouring in. Sorry about that.

Love and smokies,

vvvvv

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Bacon Cheddar Pinwheels

My sweet, sweet Wonkie turned 3 this past week.

Isn't it crazy? I remember the day he was born. I know everyone says that, but...seriously. He's an actual person now. A person who has birthday parties and who actually tells me what he wants for his birthday. No more guessing. What Wonkie wants, Wonkie gets.

Wonkie wanted a plane. And not just any plane. A fast one. He wanted a fast one. This kid has a crazy imagination. He thinks a monster named Biscuit lives in between my legs (the knee-area, folks). He searches for it every single time I visit, and even bids Biscuit good night. He's so polite. Even to the imaginary monsters. This monster, Biscuit, has, however, left me a feeling a little bit uneasy.

When Stefanie, my lovely super-woman sister-in-law, informed us that they were throwing a birthday party with all of  friends, I had to contribute. I can't show up to a family function and not bring a dish of something. Especially when it's a bunch of 3-year-olds. They're the true critics-they'll tell you what they really think about the food.

So I chickened out. So what? I felt like succeeding. These are easy. And tasty. And bacony. And cheesy. And I just want to eat 'em all up.

Kinda' like my little Wonkie.

Ingredients:

• 1 8oz can of Pillsbury refrigerated crescent dinner rolls
• 2 tablespoon Ranch Dressing
• 6 slices of bacon, crisply cooked, crumbled

• 1/2 cup finely shredded cheddar cheese
• 1/2 cup finely shredded Italian blend cheese 
• 1 tablespoon dried chives
• Garlic salt

Directions:

Heat oven to 350°F.

Spray pan so the rolls won't stick. Because they will.

Unroll dough; separate into 2 long rectangles.

Pinch together any non-sealed areas of the dough. And ignore my dry, red, wintery hands. Tim said that I definitely don't have "The Price Is Right" hands. Agreed.

Each can will make 2 of these dough-rectangle things.

Sprinkle generously with garlic salt. Because in my opinion, everything needs more salt and garlic. Except chocolate.

Spread dressing over each rectangular crescent rolls all the way to the edges. 

Sprinkle each with bacon, cheeses and chives.

 Starting at one end, roll up the dough tightly and pinch dough at the end to keep sealed.

Cut each roll into 7-8 pieces.

Spread out evenly and bake 12-17 minutes.

They just...fall part. They're buttery and flaky, yet they've got a crunch from the bacon. Flawless.

Love and Wonkie,