Redneck Apple Dumplings

We all have those family friends; the ones who have seen you go from a COC (child of chunk), to a motivated high school student, to not-so-motivated college student, to a young married lady, to a part-time blogger.

Don't we?

The family I'm referring to are the Luffs. I spent countless summers at their camp in NorCal, Lassen Pines. To a fat little girl, it was paradise. The trees, fresh air and mountain scenery were always just what I needed. Not to mention The Blob (Google it), the cute older boy counselors, the go-carts, and last but not least, the buffet.

I truly love this family, which (respectively) consists of Gordon and Dotti (the hip and cool grandparents), their son and my dad's friend, Scott, his amazing wife, Inger, and their daughters (from left), Anna, Shae and Lindsay. I do have to take this moment and beg for Inger's forgiveness for stealing this recipe from her amazing blog. She claims it's Dotti's recipe, which I don't doubt, because Dotti is pretty fabulous herself. One summer when I was about 12 years old, she bought me a small container of perfume, and I thought I was the sexiest and best-smelling 6th grader in the state.

Turns out I wasn't.

I also have to take a minute and thank my equally-fabulous mother, who I "employ" to help me with my blog. Being a working lady herself, she gets how hard it can be to keep this blog updated, so she occasionally cooks a dish and sends me a recipe and a picture. The poor woman doesn't exactly enjoy doing this for me, but the moment I threaten to close up my womb and withhold grandchildren, she turns into Betty Crocker.

What a trooper.

Ingredients:

• 2 Large Granny Smith apples, peeled and cored
• 2 (10 ounce) cans of refrigerated crescent roll dough 
• 1/2 cup butter 
• 1 cup white suga
• 1 tsp ground cinnamon 
• 1 (12 fluid ounce) can or bottle of Mountain Dew
• 1 tsp vanilla 

Directions:

• Preheat the oven to 350 F.
• Grease a 13x9 inch baking pan.
• Cut each apple into 8 wedges and set aside. 
• Separate the crescent roll dough into triangles. 
• Roll each apple wedge in crescent roll starting at the smallest end. 
• Pinch to seal and place in the baking dish. 
• Melt butter in a small saucepan and stir in the sugar, cinnamon and vanilla, then pour over the dumplings. 
• Pour the can of Mountain Dew over the dumplings and bake for 35-45 minutes until golden brown. 
• Before serving, spoon some of the "sauce" from the pan over each dumpling. Serve with whipped cream or vanilla ice cream.

Granted, I didn't make this myself, but I have two very important points that affirm the deliciousness of this recipe: 1) my mother does not have much of a sweet tooth, but she has a sweet tooth for this; and 2) Dotti is a true-blue, good, southern woman, and if she makes it, I eat it.

Love and dumplings,

Rachael

Monkey Bread

I'm sympathetic to a monkey's plight in life. They are hairy and have to endure onlookers' mimicking and mocking, all the while being caged in a zoo.

But they're just so dang adorable.

I mean, I could just take this one home with me.

So it was only natural that when I was introduced to monkey bread-the perfect breakfast, dessert, or coffee companion-I absolutely had to try it.

It turned out to be pretty much the best, most complicated-looking (but not complicated at all) dish I've made in a long time. Also, in case you were wondering, the reactions from my family were...

"Oh...my...gosh..."

"Kill me now."

"I have never tasted anything so good in my life."

Just in case you needed convincing.

Ingredients:

• 3 cans original biscuits
• 1 1/2 cups sugar
• 5 teaspoons cinnamon
• Large Ziploc bag
• 2 sticks butter
• 1 cup brown sugar
• 1 tsp vanilla extract

First grab 3 cans of original biscuit. Do not get the flaky kind-it's something you'll come to regret. Or so I'm told. Lay them out on a cutting board. Cut them up like you would a pizza (into 8 pieces). You will have many many pieces. That's a good thing. Mine have weird little yellow flakes, which is apparently butter. This is good news!

Fill a large ziploc bag with 1 1/2 cups sugar and about 5 teaspoons of cinnamon. Shake it up and add the biscuit pieces. Zip it back up and shake well until they're thoroughly coated.

Spray a bundt cake pan and throw 'em in there. Now it's time to start the caramel sauce (pronounced ca-r-a-mel). NOT carmel.

Melt 2 sticks of non-salted butter over medium high heat and add 1 cup of brown sugar and the vanilla.

Now take my word for it and use a whisk, NOT a spoon. It seriously cuts a ton of time off this step if you use the whisk.

Go ahead and pour the goodness over the biscuity cinnamony sugary chunks. Now let all the guilt leave your body. It's monkey bread. It's a part of nature. It's going to look like they're drowning. Don't try to save them. It's their destiny to die this phenomenal death.

Throw it in the oven at 350 degrees for about 30 minutes. Keep an eye on it as every oven is different and it might take more or less time.

Let it cool about 20 minutes and flip it onto a plate. Serve with coffee, ice cream, or as a warm breakfast.


Come on, people. We eat donuts and chocolate muffins in this country for breakfast. Surely this should get the stamp of approval.

**This dessert has been approved by Tim**

Enjoy all!

Love,

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